This adulting thing is hard. Really hard.
So I haven’t posted on this blog since last August (8 months) and there’s a million reasons why but mainly I just haven’t had the time. I don’t actually have the time now but I feel like I need to write my thoughts down.
The past 8 months have been, well, interesting. I’ve never experienced so many highs and lows in so little time. First and foremost I have to say it’s been the most challenging year of my life. As I write this, it is my Easter holidays and I am very anxious about going back to teaching next week.
I’ve achieved so much this year, I’ve even landed myself an NQT position in a wonderful school next year but for some reason I’m don’t feel happy or 100% myself at the moment. I don’t feel like I am at my best. I feel overworked, tired and stressed. I have 9 weeks left of my course and I just don’t know how I am going to get through it with an even busier timetable than before.
This job isn’t for the fainthearted. You need to have a ridiculous amount of stamina and love for what you are teaching. I must admit that my French has improved dramatically this year and I really do have a passion for the subject. However the world of teaching isn’t just about loving your subject, there’s so much more and I feel like I am always having to spread myself so thinly. This is so difficult for me because I am a person that likes to put my all into everything and that is just not physically possible in this profession I have realised. You can’t spend 4 hours planning the most perfect lesson because you teach 20 lessons a week – that would mean working 80 hours a week!
I really wish I could say that I am loving it and that I have had the best experience but the truth is I haven’t. I have found the adjustment to the real world after university so difficult and fear that this is what it will be like forever! I apologise for this being quite a sad and deflated post but that is how I have felt all year and I want this to be a true reflection of what it is actually like growing up in your 20s. I promise that I will go into more detail in future posts but I just needed to start things off.